Formulating the Words

So many times these past 12 months I've tried to express my thoughts and feelings but just couldn't find the words. It reminds me of the scripture that talks about the Spirit interceding on our behalf with groans words can not express. I've been there. And yet, these last few months it's not because things are so terrible but because God has been so real that I find words to be inadequate. I've found that the more time I spend with Him the more I come to know Him and yet the more I can not formulate the words to tell others about it. Maybe that is what He meant when He said He wanted us to have a personal relationship with Him.

His sense of humor never ceases to amaze me either. Just this week I've really wanted to talk about some of the things He's been teaching me and yet I couldn't find the words and was becoming somewhat frustrated by that. Then a friend of mine who's having a hard time messaged me and I tried again to put some of it into writing and it seemed to sound completely jumbled. Sunday, Pastor Dale spoke on "GOD" and reiterated the fact that words just don't do it and when we try to describe Him we're really describing the indescribable. I couldn't help but laugh inside and found myself drawn to the altar for a time of thanksgiving and praise for how real and how PERSONAL He has been to me. I'm befuddled and perplexed that I've been called to share the gospel and yet, there is no way to truly explain or describe the reality of THE ONE Who was and is to come. So, for now I'm left to laugh (an inside joke between God and I). And yet, I feel I need to share the following:

When Christ came to save us, He did it. He did it knowing how screwed up we are. He did it knowing that we'd reject Him and mock Him with our lives. And yet, He did it.

When Christ spoke to those around Him He called them to Love as He has loved; to forgive as He forgives; to live as He lived. I CAN'T EVEN FATHOM IT! Yet I'm called to do it and must do it daily.

Sometimes in life, He allows us to hit rock bottom because He knows that it's only then we can truly understand these concepts. Until I realized my sin and how sick and perverse I was, and until I accepted His love and grace and forgiveness, I could never fully do the same for another. And now, I find that I'm asked to do this without expectation for the one I'm loving, forgiving, etc. That means I put myself and all that I am on the line each day as I have been asked not taking into account what it may cost me. For if I truly do that, I really have no rights. I really can't protect myself or my feelings. I have to relinquish my entire being, rights and feelings, to Him who justifies and cares for and protects. Which in the grand scheme of things is the safest place to live, yet my selfishness cons me into thinking that I can somehow protect myself from it. REALITY CHECK: He is the only one who can protect and provide!

If He can use anything or anyone in this world to complete His mission, than why can't He use me? Because of ME. So, again today Lord, I relinquish my all to Thee knowing that You are my ...