Wait!

We walk through life preaching and teaching what we know and have heard from those who have gone before us. We spend our lives devoted to the truth and leading others to Him. Then one day we find ourselves in the midst of the fire and all we can do is hold on to Christ and trust that everything we've devoted our existence to is real and is truth.

Art and I are in the process of learning what it means to wait upon the Lord. We thought that loosing Hudson was surely the "trial" of our lives only to find that it was just a precursor to what lied ahead. 2008 has been just too hard! Too many deaths, too many disappointments, too many failures, too many you name its. When we look back it all seems a blur and we still feel that somehow we'll wake up and it will all have been just a dream, a nightmare. But, reality keeps us grounded as usual and I've finally stopped pinching myself in the last 2 weeks because I know this is our new reality.

Through everything we've endured this year we had 2 realities: Christ is Lord and we have each other. So, what do you do when the devil realizes that's where you live and decides to attack the only thing left he can - having each other. It's truly the most unexplainable, heart wrenching, agonizing torture of the heart and mind to endure. So, what do you do?

Some have said that God at times allows you to walk around the fire or protects you from the fire and other times He walks you through the fire. We are living examples of His word as He's using this fire to refine us. He's re-teaching us some basic principles of Spirit-filled life that we'd forgotten or distorted along the way. And, for the first time in my life I'm actually having to learn to take care of myself. For some that's not hard, but for me that is a completely foreign concept. I mean come on, we're called to live a self-less life not a selfish life. Yet, somehow we forget that we're human and we weren't created to be God, we were created to be God's. After years of doing and serving and taking care of others (anyone and everyone but ourselves) we have been brought to our knees and are learning that all He wants from us right now is to allow Him to take care and for us to let Him.

We're nowhere near where we want to be, but God has done some amazing things in our lives this past month. He's teaching us what He meant when He told Martha that Mary had chosen the right thing. He's teaching us what it means when scripture says why worry about tomorrow for today has enough worry of its own. He's teaching us a new way of living "and the 2 shall become 1." "Trust in the Lord with your whole heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths" - He's shown us the mess that is made in leaning on your own understanding. And my least favorite thing He's teaching us right now is to "wait upon the Lord." UGH!!!! I have to wait on enough things in life, how in the world does He expect me to actually wait on Him? I'll tell ya how: He allows the testing and trying to take out everything in my life that I believe in except for the one truth that can never be taken away - Jesus Christ is Lord! Needless to say, I have a new found kinship with Job, though I can't say that I really wanted to know him better =) So, as cliche as it may be I've decided to write a poem from the heart. May it bless whoever reads this and may you find strength in its Truth when your valley shadows your existence and you don't even know if you can go another step in the journey.

Each day I walk along life's road, some days are filled with light. Today I journey a desolate road where daytime oft appears as night. Though this valley masquerades as the end of my way, there is a breeze faint, gentile and sweet. It reminds me that the mountain is ahead with its white and snowy peak. O Lord, please blow that breeze my way and whisper Your words of love. For I know that breeze to me was sent by the one true Light above. I will trudge on through this valley low, though the journey seems so drear. Keep fast my loved ones, strong and true familiar to your heart, so dear. We will make it then, from this valley we'll climb, we WILL make our journey's end. With you O Lord, our strength and shield, in grace and peace we ascend!