Faith

Scripture tells me that faith is the hope of things unseen; a free gift from the Lord. By faith miracles happen. Yet throughout my life and more so these past couple of years, I have wondered if I really had faith or if it is just something I believe in but haven't really experienced. I mean, I know that God has gifted all of us with a certain measure of faith, but I have A LOT of light and my faith should be greater than the average Joe.

I now know that my faith is real. It is not something I can work for or create, but something the Lord bestows upon us through our journey in Him. I have had the worst 2 years of my life from the average persons point-of-view. Most of you probably won't know or understand all the implications of that statement but you know a few of the trials along the way and a few of you know the intimate details (God help you!). But I must say with tears and a pain-filled heart that this has truly been the best 2 years I have ever had Spiritually. God is so near and dear to me...He's had to be everything to me. I now am beginning to understand what that means and what that good ole hymn was talking about.

When your world falls apart and your existence seems to fade, He becomes all those things you've lost or never even attained. He becomes all those things you never knew you needed. He becomes the air you breathe that forces you to live another day; the love you need to give the child you lost; the relationship you should have always had but were neglected; the joy of life selfishly taken from you; the peace you so desperately desire but know will not come; the beat of your broken heart forcing you live on; the nourishment for your starving body and soul; the calm in the storm of your anxiety when your chest feels as though it will give way to the pressure; the comfort you can not find no matter where you look; the faith you need to have hope for something better than all this.

I do not know what my next minute holds or how I will hold-up in it, but I know the One who creates that minute; the One who created me. And I can say in the midst of this moment He has proven faithful and I will serve Him now and forever. "No wonder they call Him Savior." He is real. I have seen Him. He has wrapped His loving arms around me in the wee hours of the morning and held me when I just couldn't go on. He has made Himself so real to me these days that I can not even imagine a life lived outside of Him. "He is my everything! He is my all! He is my everything both great and small. He gave His life for me, made everything new. He is my everything. Now how about you?"