Confession

God has so faithfully spoken to me these past few months through the darkest hours of my life. His love has surrounded me with peace untold. I am ever grateful for His presence in my life and I can testify that when you truly come to the end of yourself, He is there!

I failed this week. I went back on my word. To many, I had just cause. But to the one I hurt, there is no excuse - I lied. As much time as I have spent with the Lord walking the stormy journey of these last few months you would think that I of all people would be a woman of her word. Just goes to prove we are all in need of God's grace!

In the midst of my turmoil and angst over the realization of what I had done, while trying to repent and seek forgiveness (still really trying to justify my actions), Caroline said to me, "Mommy, Daddy makes bad choices sometimes, and I make bad choices sometimes and you make bad choices sometimes. But we can ask Jesus to forgive us and He will fix our broken heart because He loves us." OH MY! If that didn't strike the chords of your heart as it did mine, maybe you missed what was said. This precious 3 1/2-year-old gets it! She understands that we have a God who loves us and is always waiting for us to come to Him with humble hearts and find mercy and forgiveness and restoration. Now, she said it in 3-year-old lingo, but that's it. "We can ask Jesus to forgive us and He will fix our broken heart because He loves us." Why do we make it so hard? And why don't we own up to our sin, as Pastor Dale preached 2 Sunday's ago? Why justify our wrongs? Why not own up to them for what they are and seek the Forgiver and the one to whom we need to ask forgiveness?

If we are in a relationship with our Lord, He is going to prune us. He is going to point out our faults/shortcomings/sins/whatever you want to call them. He is going to continue to transform us to be like Him. I was tempted in this scenario to beat myself up and treat myself as though my sin were to great for God. Fortunately, I recognized that this in my life is idolatry. My sin is not greater than my God. If I would have given into that temptation I would have gone on justifying my actions and would eventually fail again. But the words of my daughter kept ringing in my ear as did the sermon mentioned. Rather than allowing the evil one to trick me into that lifestyle, God reminded me to turn to Him and let Him be my deliverer.

I pray that I will be a woman of my word and that I will humble myself before Him each moment of each day and allow Him to "search me and know me". May you sense His faithfullness in your presence today and may you too find the words of a 3-year-old true in your life!